I TOLD YOU ALL THIS DAY WOULD COME, BUT YOU KEPT WASTING. THE LORAX WARNED YOU OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF CLEAR-CUTTING THE TRUFFULA TREES, YET YOU CONTINUED TO RAPE AND PILLAGE THE EARTH. NOW WE HAVE REACHED THE END, MY FRIENDS. DOOMSDAY IS UPON US. THE FINAL ACT WITH NO AFTER-PARTY. GLOBAL WARMING HAS PROGRESSED TO THE POINT WHERE NOW THE EARTH IS ACTUALLY WARMING THE SUN. THIS INCREASE IN THE SUN’S TEMPERATURE WILL IN TURN WARM THE EARTH FURTHER. AND A WARMER EARTH MEANS AN EVEN WARMER SUN. AND AN EXTREMELY WARM SUN MEANS WE’RE PRETTY MUCH ALL SCREWED, PEOPLE...AND YOU MIGHT EXPERIENCE SOME DIRECT TV BLACKOUTS. DAMN MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION SPEAKER! DAMN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION SPEAKER! DAMN EVERYONE’S HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION SPEAKER!!! SUNSCREEN WILL SAVE NONE OF US. NONE I SAY!
YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD PROPHET OF DOOM,
AL GORE
Thursday, March 16, 2006