On Monday, a New York judge had the audacity to rule that dancing is not a Constitutional right. The very next day...or “today,” I, Dhani Jones, saw fit to deconstruct this capricious proclamation from the bench. Clearly our founding fathers sought to protect every citizen's moral entitlement to shake his or her tailfeather...all the while maintaining my people's status as "private property." Reparations now, people!...Nevertheless, I challenge any historical scholar to provide conclusive evidence that the Electric Slide was NOT present in some form at the Boston Tea Party. As with any civil right, many have been and will be bullied and incarcerated in order to protect our boogie shoes from being scuffed by the fascist powers that be. I myself was recently bound in irons for conduct clearly protected by the Second Amendment (A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed..nor their right to dance or wear bow-ties). Yet I will not give up my seat on the Double Dutch Bus to any Jim Crow and neither should any of you! In the immortal words of Kenny Loggins, “Everybody get Footloose!”.
Dhani The Bachelor
P.S. YES, I really do play football.
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
