Despite sour grapes on the part of some of my contributors, the Academy Awards® were nothing short of a smashing success! It is ever so rare that everyone of note on our fair planet is gathered at one fabulous venue...on the same night!!! After mingling with so many luminaries and starlets, in fact, I must admit that even I feel just a wee bit more important. =) Mr. Clooney was an absolute vision to behold, and his speeches were the stuff of mythical kings and fantastic centaurs. The mere memory of his dollish masculine perfection in that smart tuxedo leaves me weaker in the knees than a Japanese schoolgirl waiting in line for the latest gizmo in the Akihabara District of Tokyo, Japan!!! Well, enough of my wanton fancies. =) Back to business.
We at The Post have received a few polite complaints, several profane outbursts, and spammer’s bounty of death threats in response to our columns from Muslim celebrities. It pains my heart to know that here in 2006, men and women can still be judged by religion, race, and/or creed. This intolerance is nothing more than good old-fashioned Islamophobia rearing it’s ugly visage. My dear readers, are the murders of a few thousand Americans citizens and many more Jews really worth holding a grudge over? I think not.
In parting, I would like to pass a word of warning to all the wonderful peasant mothers out there. Researchers at the University of Colorado and Georgia State University have discovered that ugly children are far more likely to grow into lives of crime. And since you, my precious lovelies, have not the means to make your children beautiful (i.e. expensive cosmetic surgery), I suggest that you find you homely offspring the best state-sponsored psychiatric care possible. Soon before it is too late!
Monday, March 6, 2006