My dear Arab and Muslim friends:
For years, I have been your champion in the American media. When others criticized you for perceived barbarism or “terrorist acts,” I proclaimed you “patriots, “freedom-fighters,” and/or just plain “keeping it real.” I was fine with you killing Jews and American soldiers/contractors (hey, they had it coming right?). But today, my friends...today you went TOO FAR.
What the hell were you thinking BLOWING UP AN F-N KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!!!??? The thought of all that deep-fried goodness and dipping sauce going up in smoke makes me wanna cry like an American Idol reject. What did the Colonel ever do to you cave-dwelling sons of bitches!? Other than stuff your thankless yaps full of a blend of herbs and spices that makes 1,000,000 gorgeous virgins look like a pile of hippo crap. I was thinking about forgiving you...but when I heard about what you had done to Mickey D’s and Pizza Hut, I now feel that nuclear annihilation is the only alternative. Hell, maybe we can coat you all in flour beforehand and make the Middle East one giant bucket of Tender-Crispy. (MMMMMMM just drooled all over my keyboard thinking about it =)
Respectfully Yours,
Big Mike
P.S. I’m totally buying one of those cartoon Muhammad bomb-turban t-shirts as soon as they get those babies in XXXXL.
Is anything IMPORTANT sacred to you people!!!???
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
