By now I’m all you have read the tabloid trash saying “Barry Bonds is a big fat cheater. Barry Bonds did illegal drugs.” While I do admit dabbling into “nutritional supplements,” you’re only hearing one side of the story. See in addition to beating that cracker “The Babe” and his bitch-ass Home Run total, it has always been a dream of mine to become a woman. The growth hormone, “clear,” “cream,” and shrunken nuts were all part of achieving this magical goal. BALCO, in fact, was just a big covert government agency intent on turning elite athletes into elite athletes who are bitches. Matt Hasselbeck was part of the program and has a uterus, but I ain’t seen SI player-hating on that boy/hoe. Must be racist hatred I guess. Anyway, I am happy and proud to say that thanks to all my medicating and genetic manipulating, I am now 100% female. Menstruating and everything. And with any luck poppin’ these fertility pills, I will be a mother someday soon. Course I might take steroids then to insure a strong and healthy child. But ONLY THEN! So all you blood-sucking, sports-media, meat-puppets can go to hell.
Like my Lovely Lady Lumps!?
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
